Conflict Resolution

I have been blessed with an amazing staff at my preschool and childcare. They are extremely reliable, loving, creative and empathetic with the children. However, we all know that conflict is inevitable and I recently benefited from practicing the productive conflict skills we have been studying with one of my employees. Unfortunately, Luisa’s oldest son was incarcerated two months ago and her heart is literally breaking with concern for Alonzo. When Luisa arrived at work one day this week, she told me that Alonzo was going to court later that morning. She explained that she had tried to find coverage for her shift, but was unable to at the last minute. I asked Luisa if she was going to be OK and she assured me she would be fine, and that Alonzo would call her after his hearing. Two hours later, I had six children buckled into the van and ready to go for a hike in a local regional park. As I was pulling out of our driveway, Luisa ran outside and told me that her brother had just called and she needed to rush downtown to the courthouse and talk to the judge. I told her that it was unsafe for me to care for eleven children by myself, but she insisted on leaving and told me that Susy, another employee would be there in twenty minutes. I ended up putting three infants in highchairs and eight preschoolers around the table to paint until Susy arrived. When Luisa returned ninety minutes later, I told her that we needed to talk. In a supportive climate, I gave each of us a chance to honestly and considerately explore the issues involved in our situation (O’Hair and Wimann, 2012). First I told Luisa what a wonderful employee she is and explained how sorry I was that she was going through this difficult time. I asked her if she wanted to talk, but she just kept telling me that she was sorry. Then I tried out the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). I tried to recognize and clearly express what I felt, needed, and wanted, instead of criticizing or judging Luisa, relying on my compassion to help me through the conflict resolution (http://www.cnvc.org/). I explained that I could have helped her find coverage and I would have even called a few parents and asked them to bring their children later (something I have never done before) if need be. I also expressed the fact that we have built an amazing preschool together and that I was scared because if there had been an accident or incident that morning, we could have lost everything that we worked so hard to create for the children. I told Luisa that it would be very helpful if she honestly expressed her feelings and needs as well so that we could move forward with confidence. The three R’s including respectful, responsive, and reciprocal interactions could have also helped with this conflict resolution. When we build relationships with respect, we can easily give and receive. Luisa and I ended up having a wonderful conversation and I feel sure that our relationship has been strengthened by this conflict that was managed effectively.

References

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication; An introduction: Bedford/

St. Martin’s, Boston, MA.

Website: Center for Nonviolent Communication. Retrieved from:

http://www.cnvc.org/